CITIZENSHIP CLAWS

“The Citizenship Clause was meant to apply to former slaves, not just anyone whose parents happened to be in the United States when they were born,” I heard a male voice yell on the other side of the book stack.

I was in the library, looking for a self-help home repair manual, when my ears were assaulted by this disturbance of the enforceable quietude of my location. I then heard a much quieter voice that I recognized, saying, “Settle down, Dean, we’re in the library.”

Giving way to curiosity, I peaked around the bookcase to see Socrates standing in front of a dark haired man whose face bore the expression of some agitation. I greeted Socrates, who turned around and returned the greeting. The man, whom Socrates had called “Dean,” didn’t take his eyes off of Socrates. He spoke again in the same disruptive volume. “This leftist crap is going to be the ruination of our country. We can’t have people sneaking across the border, dropping babies, and calling them citizens. It’s that simple.”

At that, a librarian appeared who said in what I interpreted as the most polite tone she could manage, “Excuse me, gentlemen, if you need to have this discussion, I would appreciate it if you could use one of the conference rooms.”

“Yes, of course,” Socrates replied. “I apologize for the disturbance.” With that, he began to walk toward the nearest empty conference room.

Dean didn’t budge at first, and I got the impression that he didn’t really want to have a discussion about his position, but simply wanted to state his opinion. I asked him if he was going to follow Socrates, and he replied, “I guess so, but I don’t really see what there is to discuss.”

He began walking in the direction of the conference room, and I followed. When we were half way to the destination he turned and asked, “Why are you following me?”

“I like to watch people argue with Socrates,” I replied.

Dean seemed annoyed, but he didn’t say anything. When we entered the conference room, I closed the door, and Dean said to Socrates, “Your friend wants to watch our discussion. I guess he doesn’t have anything important to do at the moment.”

Socrates laughed. “Jacob never has anything important to do.”

Dean apparently caught the humor of the remark, but only smiled faintly. He looked at me as though he wanted to say ‘I believe it.’

“So, what makes you so certain that the Citizenship Clause of the 14^th Amendment [1] was meant to apply only to former slaves?”

Dean scowled. “Isn’t it obvious? It was adopted right after the Civil War. The slaves had been permanently freed by the 13^th Amendment [2], and the purpose of the Citizenship Clause was to make it clear that they were now citizens.”   

“But isn’t it true that the source of the Citizenship Clause was actually English Common Law?”

“What do you mean?”

“Yes, Socrates,” I interjected, “what do you mean by ‘English Common Law’? I don’t understand the term.”

Dean laughed derisively. “Socrates, you’ve been hanging out with some stupid people these days.”

“There’s nothing stupid about admitting you don’t know something,” Socrates replied, “especially when you ask to be educated.” Then, turning his attention to me, he said, “The common law was the system of law they had in England, mostly based on court precedent. Every state except Louisiana has adopted it as their law, I guess you could say their law in default, except to the extent it has been changed by American or state law. It’s also the reason our courts rely on precedent, because that was characteristic of the common law system.”

”Thanks, Socrates,” I said. “And thanks for explaining that I’m not stupid.”

Socrates grinned. “I didn’t say that you’re not stupid. I simply said that you aren’t stupid because you asked a question.”

“After this conversation is over, we need to talk about you getting a job,” I retorted.

Socrates turned to Dean and asked, “Now what was your question?”

“I asked what you meant by saying that ‘that the source of the Citizenship Clause was actually English Common Law.’”

“I take it you don’t recall that in the case of United States v. Wong Kim Ark [3], the United States Supreme Court said that the Citizenship Clause, since it doesn’t define its pertinent terms, must be interpreted in light of the common law?”

“Okay, so what? That was an 1897 case.”

“Has it been overruled?”

“No.”

“So, are you saying that Supreme Court cases have some kind of expiration date?”

“No, but maybe today the Court would look at the same facts and reach a different conclusion.”

“Well, let’s see,” Socrates said. “Do you recall that the case involved a man of Chinese ancestry who had been born in San Francisco?”

“That’s right. And his parents were Chinese citizens.”

“And you also know that the Court ultimately ruled that the man was an American citizen because he was born in the United States.”

“True.”

“Now isn’t it true that the Court reached its conclusion based on English Common Law?”

“Right again.”

“And isn’t it also true that the same case pointed out that, according to English Common Law, that a fundamental principle of the common law with regard to nationality was birth within the allegiance of the king, that is, born in England or anyplace subject to the king’s jurisdiction?”

Dean laughed. “We don’t have kings anymore.”

“We didn’t have a king at the time of the Wong Kim Ark case either, but the Court apparently didn’t see that as a relevant consideration, and upheld the common law rule of birthright citizenship.”

“Aha! But the question is whether Wong Kim Ark was subject to the jurisdiction of the United States, and that is something the Court will have to consider in any future case.”

“You don’t recall that the Court did consider that, and said that Wong Kim Ark would not be subject to the jurisdiction of the United States only if he was a child of foreign ambassadors or a child born to foreigners during a hostile occupation?”

“Well, I think today the Court should rule that anyone born of illegal immigrants isn’t subject to the jurisdiction of the United States.”

“How would that work? If someone born of illegal immigrants commits a crime, don’t our courts have jurisdiction to try him?”

“Okay, I suppose.”

“So, it seems that in order to get the ruling you want, the Court will have to ignore precedent, the common law, and the plain meaning of the constitutional text. What am I missing?”

“I don’t know, common sense maybe?”

“The Constitution says that all ‘persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.’ What about common sense tells you that the Constitution doesn’t mean what it says?”

Dean thought for a moment, then said, “Okay, well maybe it’s time to change the law.”

“How?”

“Amend the Constitution so that those born in the United States aren’t citizens if their parents are in the country illegally.”

“I suppose that means that hospitals would be required to check the immigration status of the parents of babies born in their facilities.”

“Sure, why not?”

“So, it would be a good idea for expecting parents to have their birth certificates handy.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“And if they can’t produce them, what should the hospital do? Hold on to the newborn until the parents produce proof of citizenship?”

“No, the parents can take their baby. The baby just won’t be considered a citizen until the parents can produce their birth certificates.”

“And what will we have accomplished under this new regime?”

“We’ll stop this scam of illegal immigrants having babies in our country and making them citizens.”

“And what will that do for us?”

“It will discourage illegal immigrants from doing that.”

“And why is it a bad thing if they do that?”

“Because they’re creating citizens who shouldn’t be citizens.”

“And why shouldn’t they be citizens?” 

“Because their parents are in the country illegally.”

“Don’t you see that you’re arguing in circles? Your argument is that babies born to illegal immigrants shouldn’t be citizens because they’re born to illegal immigrants.”

Dean smiled. “You know what I’m saying, Socrates.”

“What are you saying?”

Dean stood up. “You know what the problem is, and I shouldn’t have to explain it to someone as intelligent as you.” And with that he left the room.

When Dean closed the door behind him, I said to Socrates, “I think he means that children born to illegal immigrants will increase the percentage of citizens without European ancestry.”

“What’s so great about European ancestry?” Socrates asked. “Didn’t both world wars take place in Europe?”

 

—Jack Quirk