THE BEST THING POSSIBLE

“That would be the worst thing possible if the baby lives,” a female voice exclaimed at the table next to us. 

Socrates flinched at that, as did I, so I wasn’t surprised when Socrates addressed the couple at the table. “Pardon me,” he said. “I don’t want to be intrusive, but are you talking about the Adriana Smith pregnancy case?” 

The man at the table replied, “Mind your own business.” He then turned to the woman and said, “Yeah, everyone’s talking about the baby coming through it as it was some kind of miracle. But, all things considered, that would be a terrible outcome.” 

I hadn’t followed the Adriana Smith pregnancy case, but I was highly disturbed by what these people were saying. Not being as polite and cultured as Socrates, I said, “Look, now, you’re talking about a baby dying as a good thing here in the coffee shop where everyone can hear you. That’s about the most offensive thing that a person can say, and you’re making it our business by saying it. So take it somewhere else where you won’t offend people.” 

At that the man stood up with his fists clenched. I stood up as well, but the woman grabbed the man by the arm, saying, “Tim! Stop it! Sit down!” 

Tim obeyed, and I too sat down to see Socrates laughing. “I’m glad you’re entertained,” I told him. 

I thought that the couple would simply get up and leave, but it turned out that the woman was prepared to engage. Looking at Socrates she said, “Yes, we are talking about the Adriana Smith matter. I don’t want you to think that I enjoy the idea of babies dying in general.” 

“That’s what I thought,” Socrates said. 

“Excuse me,” I said, “but what is the Adriana Smith matter?” 

The woman looked at me, but she didn’t betray what she was thinking by her expression. I turned to Socrates who was shaking his head. “You know, newspapers are still pretty cheap, relatively,” he said. 

“But I have to learn how to read if they’re going to be of any use to me,” I joked. 

But Socrates looked at the couple, and said, “He isn’t kidding.” Then he turned to me and said, “Adriana Smith was a woman in Georgia, who died because of a medical emergency. She was nine weeks pregnant at the time. But the hospital told her family that due to Georgia’s strict abortion laws, she would have to be kept on life support until the baby could be delivered. It seems that upset at least some of her relatives.” [1] [2]  

“And it was because of Georgia’s patriarchal six week abortion ban,” the woman chimed in. 

“But this didn’t really involve an abortion did it?” Socrates asked. 

“No,” the woman said. “But it still involves the same patriarchal power structure that wants to take control over women’s bodies.” 

“So, you would say that Adriana Smith had the right to control her own body,” Socrates said. 

“Of course she did,” the woman replied. 

“But isn’t it true that the decision to keep Adriana Smith alive so that the baby could be delivered was made after she was already brain dead?” 

“Yes.” 

“And she died rather suddenly. So, we never got to hear what Adriana would have wanted about whether to keep her body functioning in order to preserve the life of her child. Isn’t that right?” 

“I’m sure she would have preferred to be allowed to die in peace.” 

“But she was already dead. The question of whether she would die in peace or not had already been answered. Or am I missing something?” 

“Okay,” the woman replied. “But her relatives should have had a say.” 

“You can’t mean that,” Socrates said. “Isn’t the whole idea behind the so-called right to choose is that women should have control over their own bodies?” 

“Of course.” 

“Well does that mean that the right to choose descends to her relatives?” 

“It should.” 

“But you’re concerned about patriarchy. What if the right to choose descends to a male?” 

The woman laughed derisively. At this point, Tim interjected. “You know, you’re really a jack ass, you know that? Ignore him, Leticia. He’s just a misogynist.” 

“Whatever I am,” Socrates said, “I still can’t understand why it would be better for the baby to die.” 

“Don’t you get it?” Tim said. “If the baby survives that will give misogynists like you an argument that the fetus was alive all along, and has some right to life.” 

“Now you’ve really got me confused,” Socrates said, laughing. “Why wouldn’t a fetus be alive?” 

With that, Leticia stood up. “Let’s get out of here, Tim,” she said. “I don’t really want to be in this company.” 

“Right,” Tim said, and they both got up and left the coffee shop. 

After they left, something funny occurred to me, and I started laughing. 

“What are you laughing about?” Socrates asked.

“I’m just thinking about that kid growing up and coming to realize that his family wanted to kill him,” I replied laughing harder. 

“Jacob, you’re a sick, sick man,” said Socrates.

 

—Jack Quirk